Children
are easily influenced by their surroundings. These days, it is
extremely difficult to expose our children to an ideal Islamic
environment given the influences from media, friends and even other
members of the family.
With
television, radio, Internet and forms of media mostly touting
un-Islamic values, it is up to parents and adults close to the children
to set the correct example.
It is impossible to shield our children from all the negative forces that can shape their minds and, ultimately, their behavior.
However,
by our own example and showing them better options, we can set them on
the true path, which is to obey the commandments of Allah (SWT) and our Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him).
Here are some tips you may want to follow in helping your children grow up with Islamic values.
1. Start by teaching them the importance of Worshipping only Allah:
The
best thing any Muslim parent could ever teach their children is to
emphasize, from the day they can comprehend, that Allah (SWT) is One and
no one is worthy of worship except Allah (SWT). This is the fundamental
message of our Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) and it is our key to Paradise.
2. Treat them kindly:
Kindness begets kindness. If we were kind to our children, they in turn would show kindness to others. Our Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was the best example in being kind to children.
3. Teach them examples of Muslim heroes:Instead
of Batman or Superman, tell them about real heroes such as Ali bin Abi
Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) and others Muslims heroes. Tell
them how Muslim leaders brought a real peaceful change in the world and
won the hearts of Muslims and non-Muslims alike.
4. Let children sit with adults:It is preferable for children to be among adults, especially when listening to Islamic lectures. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) would often put children in the front row when he spoke to the people.
5. Make them feel important:
Consult
them in family matters. Let them feel they are important members of the
family and have a part to play in the growth and well-being of the
family.
6. Go out as a family:
Take
family trips rather than allowing your children to always go out only
with their friends. Let your children be around family and friends from
whom you want them to pick up their values. Always remember that your
children will become who they are around with most of the time. So,
watch their company and above all give them YOUR Company.
7. Praise them:
Praise
is a powerful tool with children, especially in front of others.
Children feel a sense of pride when their parents’ praise them and will
be keen to perform other good deeds. However, praise must be limited to
Islamic deeds and deeds of moral value.
8.Avoid humiliation:
Similarly,
do not humiliate them in front of others. Children make mistakes.
Sometimes, these mistakes occur in their efforts to please the parents.
If you are unhappy with your children, tell them in private.
9. Sports:
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged
sports such as swimming, running and horse riding. Other sports that
build character and physical strength are also recommended, as long as
the children maintain their Islamic identity, wear appropriate clothes
and do not engage in unnecessary mixing.
10.Responsibility:
Have
faith in their abilities to perform tasks. Give them chores to do in
line with their age. Convince them that they are performing an important
function and you will find them eager to help you out again.
11. Don’t spoil them:
Children
are easily spoiled. If they receive everything they ask for, they will
expect you to oblige on every occasion. Be wise in what you buy for
them. Avoid extravagance and unnecessary luxuries. Take them to an
orphanage or poor area of your city once in a while so they can see how
privileged they are.
12. Don’t be friends:
It
is common in the West for parents to consider their children as
friends. In Islam, it doesn’t work that way. If you have ever heard how
friends talk to each other, then you will know that this is not how a
parent-child relationship should be. You are the parents, and they
should respect you, and this is what you should be teaching them. The
friendship part should be limited to you and them keeping an open dialog
so they can share their concerns with you and ask you questions when
they have any.
13.Pray with them:
Involve
them in acts of worship. When they are young, let them see you in act
of salaah (salat). Soon, they would be trying to imitate you. Wake them
up for Fajr and pray as a family. Talk to them about the rewards of
salaah so that it doesn’t feel like a burden to them.
14.Emphasize halal:
It is not always good to say “this is haraam that is haraam”. While
you must educate them on haram things, Islam is full of halaal and tell
your children to thank Allah (SWT) for the bounties He has bestowed on
them- not just for food and clothes. Tell them to be thankful for having
eyes that see, ears that hear arms and legs and, the ultimate blessing,
Islam in their hearts.
Set
an example: As parents, you are the best example the children can have.
If you talk to your parents rudely, expect your children to do the same
to you. If you are disrespectful to others, your children will follow
too. Islam is filled with Divine advice on the best ways to bring up
your children. That makes it an obligation upon parents to be good
Muslims so their children will try to emulate them. If you don’t take
Islam seriously, neither will your children. It goes back to our third
point, which is to give them Islamic heroes. As a parent, you should be
their number one hero.
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