The Manners of Children Towards Parents

The birth of a child in a family is a gift and happiness. When there are so many couples that do not have a child although they have tried hard. Be grateful for you who have been blessed with a child.

When we have a child or even more, then it has been an obligation for the parents to raise and educate them until they are ready to live independently.

Besides the knowledge about religion, such as the kinds of the knowledge of tawheed, a child must also be taught about ethics and manners in the daily life. One of them is the manners of children towards the parents.

What are those? Check out below!

Parents are the first people who will be recognized by the children. The parents’ kindness to the children is so great. So, a child should know how to serve his father and mother. As it is stated in the following verses of serving the parents.

Allah Ta’ala said,

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

“And your Rabb has ordered human to not worship other than only to Him and they should be kind to both parents as well as possible. And if one of them or both of them are old by your side then do not say ‘ah’ to both of them and do not shout at them.” (QS. Al-Isra: 23)

Looking at Parents with A Good and Not Sharp Look

A child must respect and love his parents. One of them is keeping the look and words in front of parents. Lower the voice and do not look sharply are the form of noble akhlaq in Islam. As it is described in the following verse.

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

“And say to both of them the noble words and lower yourself towards them with full of love. And say, “O my Rabb, love them as they loved me when I was little.”” (QS. Al-Isra: 24)

وإذا تكَلَّمَ خَفَضُوا أصواتَهم عندَه ، وما يُحِدُّون إليه النظرَ؛ تعظيمًا له

If the companions talked with the Prophet, they were lower their voices and they did not look sharply as a form of exalting to the Prophet.

Do Not Interrupt the Parents’ Words

Interrupt the parents’ words is a bad deed. This also applies to the others, it is either younger, the same age or older. Then the next manner towards people is giving parents a chance to finish what they want to say without interrupting or preceding their words.

From Abdullah bin Umar radhiallahu ‘anhu,

كنَّا عندَ النَّبيِّ صلَّى اللهُ عليْهِ وسلَّمَ فأتيَ بِجُمَّارٍ، فقالَ: إنَّ منَ الشَّجرةِ شجَرةً، مثلُها كمَثلِ المسلِمِ ، فأردتُ أن أقولَ: هيَ النَّخلةُ، فإذا أنا أصغرُ القومِ، فسَكتُّ، فقالَ النَّبيُّ صلَّى اللهُ عليْهِ وسلَّمَ: هيَ النَّخلةُ

“We were with the Prophet shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam in Jummar, then the Prophet said: ‘There is a tree that is an example of a Muslim’. Ibn Umar said: ‘Actually, I want to answer: date palm tree. However, because he is the youngest here then I am silent’. Then the Prophet shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam gave the answer (to the people): ‘It is a date palm tree’.” 

Do Not Sit When in Front of Parents Who Are Standing

اشتكى رسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فصلينا وراءَه وهو قاعدٌ, وأبو بكرٍ يُسْمِعُ الناسَ تكبيرَه, فالتفتَ إلينا فرآنا قيامًا فأشار إلينا فقعدنا, فصلينا بصلاتِه قعودًا. فلما سلَّمَ قال: إن كدتُم آنفًا لتفعلون فعلَ فارسَ والرومِ, يقومون على ملوكِهم وهم قعودٌ. فلا تفعلوا. ائتموا بأئمَّتِكم. إن صلى قائمًا فصلوا قيامًا وإن صلى قاعدًا فصلوا قعودًا

“The Prophet shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam groaned (because of ill), at that time we prayed behind him, while he was sitting, and Abu Bakr made his takbeer audible to people. Then he looked towards us, then he saw us pray in standing position. Then he gave a sign to us to sit, then we prayed by following his prayer in sitting position. When he uttered greetings, then he said, ‘you just almost did the act of Persians and Romans, they stood in front of their king, while they were sitting, then do not do it. Follow your imam. If he prays in standing position, then pray in standing position, and if he prays in sitting position, then pray in sitting position.” 

In Islam, we should be able to dispute the culture of non-Muslims. As it is stated in the verse above.

Those were the manners of children towards parents in Islam and its verses that we should be able to practice in the daily life. As good Islam people, we should keep improve the effort in doing the kinds of good deeds so that the love for Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala increases. Aamiin.