The
first thing we should look for when marrying is how committed the
person is to Islam. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam)
said,
"A
woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or
religiousness (adherence to Islam), but choose a religious woman and
you will prosper. " (Muslim) And he said, "A woman is married for
four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her
religion. You should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a
loser. "(Bukhari) And he said,
"The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.
The same holds true when looking for a husband, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said,
"When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth.
Of
course, both parties have to agree to marry one another and they can
not be forced to marry one another. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu
alayhi was sallam) said, "A woman whom has been previously married has
more right concerning herself than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent
must be asked about herself…"
Rules of Al-Khutbah (Request to marry a woman and the acceptance of the proposal)
The man has permission to see her face before agreeing to marry as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Go and look at her (the woman you are considering marrying) because this will help your time together to be strengthened."
After
a man and woman have agreed to marry, they have to remember that the
man is still not her mahram (men prohibited to her, including her
father, brothers, sons, maternal and paternal uncles, and nephews). This
means they can not still deal with one another as partners in any way
(such as shaking hands, gazing at one another, being alone together,
going out together, etc.), or go out with one another as we see people
in the west doing. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam)
said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not have a private audience with a woman without her mahram.
The Wedding Ceremony (Nikaah)
Components
1
– Consent: ‘Aishah(R) asked Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was
sallam) if women must be asked for their permission of marriage. Prophet
Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) replied, "Yes. " She said, ‘The
virgin is asked for her permission but she gets shy. Prophet Muhammad
(sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Her silence is her permission.
2 – The Wallee (Woman’s Guardian): Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "There is no nikaah except with a wallee.
3 – Two Witnesses: Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "There is no marriage except with a wallee and trustworthy witnesses. Also, "There is no marriage except with a wallee and two witnesses.
4 – The Mahr (Dowry): Allah says (what means): "And
give to the women their dowry with a good heart, but if they out of
their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy
it without fear of any harm. " (Al-Nisa4:4) The mahr can be of any amount, Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Look for one even if it was an iron ring.
The woman is not obliged to give the man anything at the time of the wedding, as is done in some cultures.
Acts to be Avoided
We
should be careful to not act as the disbelievers do regarding their
mixing of men and women, wearing tuxedos and white wedding gowns,
exchanging rings, kissing in public, etc. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu
alayhi was sallam) said, "Whoever resembles a people is one of them. " (Abu Dawood)
After the Wedding
Supporting One’s Wife
The
man is responsible for providing for his wife, as Allah says (what
means), "Let the wealthy man spend according to his means; and let the
man whose provisions are restricted spend according to what Allah has
given him. Allah does not burden a soul beyond what He has given it, and
Allah will grant ease after a hardship. " (Al-Talaq65:7)
Islam
even gives women the right to take secretly money from their husbands
if the husbands are not providing for them. Hind, the wife of Abu
Sufyan, came to Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) and
said, "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man and does not
give me and my children enough provisions except when I take something
from him with out his knowledge." Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi
was sallam) said, "Take what is reasonably sufficient for you and your
children. " (Bukhari and Muslim)
Educating One’s Family
Since
the man has put in the position of providing for his family, he must
also provide them with the proper Islamic education to keep them from
the hellfire. Allah says (what means), "O you who believe! Save
yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones
(that were worshipped), over it are appointed angels stern and severe,
who disobey not the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which
they are commanded. " (Al-Tahrim66:6)
Both
the husband and wife should make sure their home is a place where Allah
is remembered and His Commandments are reflected and acted upon.
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "The similitude of
a home in which Allah is remembered and a home in which He is not is
like the living and the dead. " (Muslim)
The Wife Obeying Her Husband
A
woman must obey her husband as long as he does not tell her to perform
any haraam(unlawful) acts. Allah says (what means), "…the righteous
women are devoutly obedient, and guard in absence what Allah would have
then guard. " (Al-Nisa4:34)
Kind Treatment To One’s Wife
Just
because Allah has given men a position of authority does not give them
the right to abuse it. They have to treat their wives in the best
manner. Allah says (what means), "Live with them honorably. "
(Al-Nisa4:19) Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "The
believer with the most complete faith is the one with the best
character, and the best of them are those whom treat their women the
best. " (Tirmidhi)
We
can see from the seerah (biography) of Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu
alayhi was sallam) that he would help his wives with housework and would
engage in games with them as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment