“The servants of The Compassionate are those who walk upon the earth in humility. When the ignorant address them, they say, “Peace.”” (Al Furqan, 25:63)
Alhamdulillah, there are many kind, moral, and emotionally healthy people in our world. However, most people encounter emotionally unhealthy people and face “toxic” relationships at some point in life.
Accepting that this is a common human experience will help you to calmly deal with toxic people and to not feel alone.
This article will discuss the signs of a toxic person, the importance of protecting yourself from toxic people, general tips to deal with toxic people and ideas about toxic family members
Signs of a Toxic Person
There are many types of toxic people with different levels of toxicity. Toxic people might be overly self-centered, negative, controlling or passive. A person is probably “toxic” to you if:
You feel bad after being around him/her, even if you don’t know why.
You feel a sense of dread when you see his/her number appear on your phone, or you feel uneasy when you need to meet with him/her.
The person lacks empathy and feels entitled. He/she would say it’s your fault if you feel bad after meeting with him/her.
Toxic people cause stress in others through their behaviors. They often apologize but later do the same things. This stress causes physical health problems for people who are in the presence of toxic people.
Body aches, stomach problems, anxiety, eating and sleeping problems and other illnesses are direct byproducts of stress created by toxic people.
If you are dealing with toxic people, remember to be your own best friend and to take care of yourself. The Prophet Muhammad SAWS said, “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself”. 1
This hadith teaches us to love others, but is also saying that we should already love ourselves in the first place.
Would you want your brother or sister to suffer from the stress of toxic relationships? Then why do so many of us allow ourselves to suffer from the effects of toxic people?
Also, remember that you are the only person responsible for the choices you make in life
“Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves” (Ar-Rad, 13:11).
It is your choice to do something about a toxic relationship, or to do nothing at all.
The Prophet Muhammad SAWStaught us to be wary of the company that we keep in the following ahadith:
Prophet SAWSsaid: “A person is on the religio of his companions. Therefore let every one of you carefully consider the company he keeps.” 2
Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari RAu reported: I heard the Prophet SAWS saying, “The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one blowing the bellows.
The owner of musk would either offer you some free of charge, or you would buy it from him, or you smell its pleasant fragrance; and as for the one who blows the bellows (i.e., the blacksmith), he either burns your clothes or you smell a repugnant smell”. 3
Here are some reasons to avoid or minimize contact with toxic people:
Their negativity slows you down in achieving your goals.
They drain you of energy and add stress and anxiety to your life.
They drain you of energy and add stress and anxiety to your life.
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